Hey, everyone, Last time we covered flow. Today we are going to look into some potential roadblocks into happiness.
I want you to imagine this situation: You are attracted to this dudeman or lady girl, and you finally get the courage to ask them out. Unfortunately for you, they politely reject you.
There are two ways you can explain their response. These are, unsurprisingly called explanatory styles. There is a pessimistic one and an optimistic one.These explanations are easily broken down into three categories. Personal vs. impersonal. Permanent vs. inpermanent, and pervasive (global) vs. specific (local).
The pessimist way explains it is that is your fault they said no. You also think that you will always get rejected by everyone.
The optimistic way to explain it is that the person just didn't reciprocate your feelings, but that in the future someone will reciprocate.
The pessimistic style can cause depression, but it is also a roadblock to happiness. There is another roadblock called Learned helplessness.
Learned helplessness is a behavior where a human or nonhuman endures repeatedly aversive stimuli that it cant escape or avoid. Think back to the rejection scenario. If this happened repeatedly, over time, you may decide to avoid asking anyone out ever again.
There was a sad experiment involving dogs exploring this phenomenon. They were attached to a collar that would shock them at random times. One group of dogs could control it through a lever, the other however was unable to control the shocks at all.
Afterwards, the dogs were put into a separate apparatus, a box where the floor would shock on one side or the other. The first group of dogs learned quickly to escape by jumping to the other side. The second group sadly lied down and endured the shocks without trying to go to the other side. The only thing that could get these dogs to the other side was physically moving them to the other side.
It has been suggested that learned helplessness can be a precedent for creating a pessimistic learning style. So, how might one change the effects of past learning?
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy would be good for both of these situations since it would work on both the explanatory style and possible behavior ramifications from learning helplessness.
There's also the possibility of Learning optimism. Martin Seligman uses an adaptation of Rational Emotive therapy to do this. (ABCDE)
You have an adversity, such as being cut off in traffic, and a belief about it such as "I cant believe he was so rude and selfish." and the Consequence, you are overcome with anger.
Then, he suggests, you have to try and dispute your beliefs: maybe you are overreacting and its pointless to worry about being cut off. Maybe someone died, and he's in a hurry to the hospital. Basically, do your beliefs have evidence or other explanations. What are the implications if you hold on to these beliefs? Are the beliefs useful to you if you hold on to them?
Finally, How could you be energized by using more optimistic beliefs or explanations? More or less what are some good outcomes if you believe optimistically. For example, if I change my beliefs about being cut off, I won't be angry, If I'm not angry as often, I lessen my chance of a stress induced heart attack and cardiovascular disease.
Alright, so we covered explanatory styles, learned helplessness, and learned optimism. Next time we will look into one of Martin Seligman's models of happiness and well-being.